Perhaps some who see that word will cringe. Perhaps some will be very uncomfortable reading this entry at first. I am certain many will read it out of curiosity – to find out exactly what a bunch of early risers would have to say about this issue.

Sex – some are addicted to it, some are disgusted by it. Very many are clueless about it in its true essence. The picture the world has of it today is very distorted. It seems like it’s spoken about, sung about, even preached about everywhere – except in Christian circles. We who are supposed to be a light, even concerning the issues of sex and marriage, seem to want to shy away from it the most. But God said by the mouth of King David that a generation yet to be created would praise His name (Psalm 102:18). And at TERC, that’s what happens – the LORD is praised in every aspect of our being, in every issue of life, even when it comes to sex.

Hopefully, now that the word sex is all over the first two paragraphs, everyone is a little more comfortable with it. It is going to come up a whole lot.

This TERC meeting was as thought-provoking as it was enlightening; as convicting as it was encouraging. It was a time for sober reflection, and that was how we knew the Spirit of the Lord was there – for the same Spirit that convicts us also comforts us. What we thought would be a session entirely on sex turned out to be one in which we learnt and were reminded about so much more: God’s mercy, forgiveness, omniscience and perfect plan.

It was initially suggested that we talk about the distinction between the spirit, soul and body but that seemed too heavy a topic and while we were all trying to figure it all out, someone piped up, “Why don’t we talk about sex?” And thus it began.

What is sex?

It is impossible to discuss something without first knowing what it is. The medical definition of sex was agreed upon as the most accurate definition. Sex is any genital contact – hand to genital, mouth to genital, or genital to genital. Sex goes beyond just the penile-vaginal penetration that gets a woman pregnant. It is impossible to talk about sex without including relationships as well as marriage.

Of Fires and Delicious Smells

Some people have defined sex to be anything that can cause a man or woman to be sexually aroused. We found this definition to be flawed in many respects, since arousal is a normal physiological reaction to certain circumstances and is occasionally unavoidable. To expect not to experience it at some point before marriage would be unrealistic. The male and female bodies give warning signals that indicate that barriers have been crossed. Before marriage, arousal is a warning sign – it says, “You have gone too far. Stop right now.” Arousal, the raging hormones and sex drive are normal and are wired into us by God. Sex within the confines of marriage is a beautiful thing and is a gift from God. It is what we do when we’re aroused that is of consequence. Several analogies to illustrate what was said were given. Fire is a wonderful source of heat during the winter, if contained in a fireplace. However, that very same fire if not controlled could spread to burn the house it was supposed to warm. There is nothing wrong with parking a car, but it would be out of place if the car were parked in a living room. There’s a Nigerian proverb that says you don’t smell something you know you’re not ready to eat. Arousal is like that fire, or that car, or that aroma of a deliciously tempting meal.

SEX IS NOT EVIL. It is a gift from God.

The topic of relationships was briefly touched on. God in all his sovereignty commanded us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Cor 6:14). It is easier to abstain from premarital sex if we form relationships with people who are rooted in the Word of God – people who believe what we believe, provided it is based on the Word of God. When Christ is the foundation of a relationship, both parties are able to run to Him when temptation arises.

1 Corinthians 6:17-20 (King James Version)

17But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Any contact with the genitals brings about pleasurable feelings to the body, causing you to bring glory to your temple which does not glorify God. Pre-marital sex tends to glorify the flesh and it defiles the body, yet the Bible clearly states that God will not share his glory with any other person or thing (Isaiah 42:8, Isaiah 48:11). We were created for his glory, to worship him always, in all areas of our lives. Pre-marital sex goes against this and it turns into idolatry because the flesh (body) has been highly esteemed. Remember that as children of God, our bodies have been bought with an expensive price, his son’s precious blood. Marriage is designed by God Himself and is supposed to be an earthly representation of the relationship between Christ (the bridegroom) and the church (the bride of Christ). Engaging in premarital sex distorts this representation.

Verse 17 emphasizes that once we become born again, we’re already joined to God and we’re one in spirit with God. The God we serve is holy and He expects us to live holy lives (Leviticus 19:2). The Holy Spirit will not dwell where sin is. The Bible says we should not grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph 4:30). Sin serves as a barrier between our spirit and God’s spirit dwelling within us causing spiritual death, so that spiritual connection we once had with God would’ve been lost. The only way to maintain the status quo would be to confess and truly repent from sin.

Conclusion:

We are living in the last days and this is not a time to fool around. God is calling a remnant to himself, a people who will refuse to compromise in order to be seen as acceptable from the worldly standpoint. Just like in Gideon’s days, God’s people are still outnumbered by the people of the world – the number of people on the straight and narrow path is smaller than those on the broad way. Although we live in a sex saturated society, we have absolutely no excuse to sin. Jesus said that the last days would be as the days of Noah. Even though Noah had no Bible, he still managed to live a holy life. Enoch was his contemporary, although much older, yet he lived such a holy life and walked with God and “was not, for God took him.” Now is the time to sit tight and stop being lukewarm Christians that still play church.

It may seem like we have no escape, but we do – and God will not suffer us to be tempted above that we are able, but with every temptation, like the Loving Father that He is, He will provide a way of escape. We must take heed and restrain ourselves. We should be sober and watchful because our adversary prowls around like a lion – constantly, and without taking a holiday – seeking whom he may devour. From the days of old, till today the devil has always been after God’s glory. That’s one of the reasons why he was kicked out of heaven when he was still Lucifer. He has so infiltrated the society with sex, because he knows if he can get God’s children to bring pleasure and glory to their own temple, then that instant gratification would take away the glory from God. The devil tactic is to try to bring blemish to God’s purity. Ignorance is no excuse.

You can still engage in sexual acts without your hymen being broken, technically you’ll still be a virgin. LET’S BE REAL, IT’S NOT ABOUT THE VIRGINITY!!!

This does not mean you must not have a girlfriend/ boyfriend until you are ready to get married. You just MUST have boundaries and respect your individual sexual limits.

Yet, for those who may have made the mistake of having sex outside the confines of marriage, the blessed answer is the same as for anyone who has committed any sin. Our God is a forgiving God. The Blood of Jesus Christ can wash away our sin, YES, any sin and Jesus is always making intercession for us – He reconciles us to His Father - our Father. The everlasting father who knows our down sitting and uprising, who understands our path and our lying down and is acquainted with all our ways, knew before the foundations of the earth every single sin we would commit – and yet still chose to send His Son to die at Calvary and buy us with the price of His own Blood. He knows – and He forgives.

Every failure, every weakness, has been factored into the plan and purpose God has for us. He is, “a proactive God, not a reactive one.” Nothing takes Him by surprise. He is Omniscient and he never said we would not make mistakes. Abraham, his friend, messed up in a moment of impatience that led to him to having sexual relations with Hagar and getting Ishmael as his first biological son. David – the man after his own heart was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up sinning and forcefully getting Bathsheba for a wife. He committed adultery, and then lied and murdered to keep the woman to himself. Yet when he confessed and repented, he was called a man after God’s own heart. Tamar tricked Judah. Rahab was a prostitute. We see all these people forming the lineage of Christ.

This does not mean we should be careless and irresponsible. Romans 6:1 says, “Shall we continue to sin so that grace may abound?” If we continue grieving the Holy Spirit, it will get to a stage when we begin to have a reprobate mind (Romans 1: 28) and cannot hear the Holy Spirit speaking. We are still going to be accountable for our actions. Because of the blood, we can go boldly to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help us in time of need. Rather than rationalizing our mistakes and weaknesses out of pride, we should humble ourselves to acknowledge it when we sin. We should confess our sins – and make a complete U-turn from

The ever-loving God is able to forgive us and cleanse us of all (not some, not most, but ALL unrighteousness). May his name be forever praised for that.

A Sneak Preview of the next session

We are wired differently.

Men are visually stimulated.

Women are emotionally stimulated.

Hmm!!! Deep!

Written by Pea (wendwa.blogspot.com)